Tearing us apart
by hhah
Summary: It was tearing them apart. It was tearing them all apart. Sanji/Zoro, Zoro/Nami.


**Title:** Tearing us apart  
**Pairing/Characters:** Sanji, Sanji/Zoro, Nami/Zoro  
**Word count:** 1104  
**Notes**: Actually based on a RP. But should be able to be read alone.

It was tearing them apart. It was tearing them all apart.

He saw the way he acted with her, and the way she acted with him. The way she acted with himself as well. It was ruining them. Work was awkward, social interactions turned stale.

It was tearing them apart.

His chest hurt when he saw her, his eyes widened when he saw him with her. This wasn't right. Sanji knew this wasn't right. It was wrong, it felt wrong, it sounded wrong—it was wrong. He had caused this, and he needed to be the one to fix it.

Nami wouldn't know, and Zoro wouldn't have any idea what was happening until it was too late.

It was for the best.

The night he decided, he had treated Zoro like a king. He cooked him a wonderful meal at the restaurant before treating him to a night of drinking. Not too much because he took him home after and slept with him—if he was being honest it was one of the best nights he'd ever had with him. Afterwards he'd laid on top of him and traced patterns into his bare skin.

Once Zoro fell asleep, he started to cry. He'd gotten out of bed, went to the shower—turned it on and sobbed.

Zoro hadn't known a thing.

The next day his plan started. He wasn't in bed when Zoro woke up, and when the other man had finally found him he only gave him stiff angry faced kisses. Zoro had asked what was wrong, and Sanji just sarcastically replied that it was nothing.

He was cold to Zoro after that. They didn't have sex, he got Zoro off quickly once but acted like it was a bother and sent him home after. He could see the hurt in the other mans eyes, and it made him sick. Zoro would say he loved him, and Sanji would reply 'same'. He refused to say that he loved him back.

Keeping up his cold act for a few weeks, he could feel Zoro's confusion and his hurt gaze on his back. He upped his flirtation with ladies—and Ace—and would give his supposed lover small kisses at the corner of his mouth. At night he'd cry into his bed sheets.

Finally, after what he determined was enough—enough of hurting Zoro like this, he took Nami out for a lunch. She had said it was nice, that it was nice to see him again and he flirted with her the whole time. When it was finished and he started to walk her home, he stopped outside her apartment door.

"Nami-san," He started. "I'm sorry."

She paused where she was putting her key in the lock and looked back at him.

"What for?"

"Taking Zoro from you."

He saw her flinch, but made no comment. She looked at her door before back to him, frowning.

"Sanji—"

"It was wrong. And I shouldn't have done it," He said, playing with the edge of his sleeve. "I just wanted something I couldn't have for the chase of it."

Sanji looked back at her face to see confusion on it.

"I don't love him," He clarified to her. Her eyes widened a bit. "I never did. I wanted him because you had him. I didn't want him to have you, it was all a lie and I apologize for hurting you."

He was surprised he could say such things without his voice breaking or shaking at all.

Nami just stared at him with wide eyes. He could see an array of emotions behind those beautiful brown eyes before she unlocked her door, walked inside and slammed it shut.

Smiling a bit to himself, he headed off. Taking his phone out, he called off the date he was already planning on canceling with Zoro and shut his phone off. Going home, he did the same thing he'd been doing for a month now.

He cried.

The next day he didn't have the courage to face Zoro. He called him instead. He could hear the confusion, the anger and the hurt behind his voice. Sanji just squeezed his eyes shut and remembered the night before he started to ruin things to steady himself.

"What?" Zoro repeated, in a hissed voice.

"I'm ending this," Sanji said yet again. "Go back to Nami-san."

Zoro said nothing, but he could hear his breath through the phone. He hadn't been hung up on. Yet.

"It was a stupid thing to start," Sanji said, trying not to make his voice sound too defensive. Trying to sound as cold as he'd been treating him. "I don't love you, I never did. I don't know why I told you such a thing. It was stupid, and I'm sorry if I mislead you."

He heard Zoro's sharp intake of breath, and held his bed sheets tighter.

"The sex was nice," He said, squeezing his eyes shut harder as nausea rolled through him. "That's about it. Everything else was kind of dead and awkward."

"Why are you saying this," He could hear the pain in Zoro's voice.

His hand shot away from the bed sheets to cover his mouth, as he felt tears threaten to spill over and a sob try to wrack through. '_Not yet, keep it together till he hangs up._'

"Because it's true," He said, surprising himself yet again with how sure his voice was while he himself felt like he was falling apart. "Asides from the sex, this thing we had—I wouldn't even go as far as to call it a relationship, was boring."

"…If….If that's how you feel about thing—"

"It is."

Zoro got quiet. Sanji barely heard the click of being hung up on, but he heard the dial tone. The loud, heart wrenching dial tone. Hanging up himself, he threw his phone against the wall across from him and brought his knees up to his chest and sobbed.

The flood gates he'd been trying to keep shut while he ended this relationship that was tearing everyone apart opened and images poured into his mind.

_Holding Zoro after sleeping with him._

_Zoro holding him._

_Kissing his nose, cheeks and chin._

_Kissing his lips._

_Playing with his ear rings._

_Telling him he loved him._

_Being with him._

_Talking to him._

_Dressing him up._

_Laughing with him._

_Running his hands through his hair after just laying there, enjoying one another's presence. _

Another sob tore through him like a bullet and he tugged at his hair, heart broken. He tried telling himself that it was for the best—that he'd been ripping them apart but now—

He was ripping himself apart.


End file.
